Inertia

Cuddles + Stretches

Have you ever been stuck, mentally (i.e., writer's block), and all of a sudden you hear something, you see something, or something happens that clarifies everything for you and you're back on track?

That was me today.  I've been planning this blog post, but struggling with putting it together.  That is, until I listened to our pastor preach this morning at Berean Church about inertia. 

The law of inertia, perhaps better known as Newton's first law of motion, states, "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion..."  Now, I will be the first to admit that I am not physicist, nor am I anywhere close to an expert in physics, but the idea that an object in motion tends to stay in motion really hit me today -- not in the terms Newton probably intended, but rather in terms of parenthood.

When Ryker was born, our lives shifted and changed in an incredible way.  We stayed up late watching him sleep (like all new parents, making sure he was breathing!), rocked him when he cried, fed him when he was hungry, and stared at him with a happy, loving, heart-melting stare that all parents can understand.  Ryker was the center of our lives, and becoming parents was the greatest thing Adam and I had ever experienced.  Our lives were FULL of joy, and I LOVED my new title as "mama."

When Ryker was about two months old, though, we started noticing some issues with his development (see my first post for more details).  Suddenly, I wasn't  just "mama" anymore, I was a medical researcher.  When he was diagnosed with torticollis (more to come on that one!), I became a physical therapist.  When he was diagnosed with Joubert Syndrome, labeled a "rare genetic disease," I became a geneticist, a neurologist, a physiatrist, a vision therapist, an occupational therapist, a speech and language pathologist, and more than anything, an advocate for our son.  Our lives became inundated with countless doctor's appointments, medical tests, and therapy sessions, and that was just outside of the home!  Inside the home, the therapy sessions continued.  Every diaper change brought a routine of stretches, cuddling in the evening meant holding him a certain way to stretch his neck, play time meant working on visual tracking and reaching (while also improving neck strength), nap time meant monitoring Ryker while he napped on his tummy (head facing left) so he could stretch while he slept.  All the while, I simultaneously researched for doctors, courses of treatment, and anything possibly related to Joubert Syndrome.  No matter what time it was, there was always something to do -- life was GO, GO, GO...hence, the discussion on inertia.

In my role as a parent, I was a body in motion, and there was no stopping me.  But that mindset, the "always on the go" mentality, isn't healthy.  A healthy person requires rest.  Even God, when he created the world, took the seventh day to rest (see Genesis 2).  But how could I be the best mom for Ryker, and rest at the same time?  There was no time to rest -- if Ryker was awake, we were working on exercises.  If he wasn't working on his exercises, I felt guilty.  If Ryker had a doctor's appointment or a therapy session, I was there.  If I couldn't make it, I felt incredibly guilty.  I soon realized that ALL of the other titles I had taken on in my role as a parent had taken over my most important title: MOM.  When was the last time Ryker and I just snuggled and played WITHOUT Joubert Syndrome, torticollis, vision, or any other medical anomaly in mind?  When was the last time I truly rested?

Slowly but surely, I learned it was okay to just hold Ryker and cuddle with him.  It was okay to let him just lay on his back, kicking and playing and having a ball!  It was OKAY if I couldn't make it to every single appointment.  Not only were those things okay, but they were healthy!  You see, life requires balance, and sometimes -- like the wireless router or the cable box -- you need to unplug so you can reset and get back to work again.

So, to Ryker, I'm sorry that for the first year of your life you never got a break, and I thank you for always being so happy (despite the go, go, go schedule).  While we're still on the go quite often, and you still don't get many breaks from your therapy, I have learned to lighten up a bit!

To all of you other moms, dads, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins -- anyone who may find themselves in a caregiver role -- if you're finding yourself in the same spot I was in, I urge you to try to set aside some time, even just a few minutes, to rest, reset, and remember the reason you're in this role.  If you're a mom, be a mom FIRST.  If you're a dad, be a dad FIRST!  You can still be the researcher, the doctor, the nurse and the advocate -- those are critical AND necessary roles -- but don't let those roles overshadow the original role you were in: the role before all of the others had relevance, the role for which you were called.

For me, that role is Mama, and I'll gladly take that back as number one. 

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"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ~ Matthew 11:28